90 what?

My friend Kevin is a really good guy. He's religious, has a good job as a dental assistant and decided to let his girlfriend pick the engagement ring she wanted.

Unfortunately for Kevin, his girlfriend is insane. And not "once-a-month" insane either. Apparently, taking her off the market will cost Kevin 90 large, and that's before the wedding.

Those of you who primarily shop at Wal-Mart are thinking, "He's getting a pretty good deal." An engagement ring for $90? Thank goodness for Wal-Mart and its low prices. But actually, this ring costs $90,000. No, that wasn't a typo. It costs $90,000.

First, Kevin's girlfriend definitely owns stock in De Beers. And yes, she is asking for a trinket that costs as much as a car, a vacation around the world for 80 days or her own personal flying saucer. But that's not the point.

The real problem is that men - who, it should be pointed out, do not get an engagement ring - are getting screwed.

Another friend of mine is always being told by his girlfriend's pals how he's "so lucky to be with her." I guess he is pretty lucky because she sent him a message on Facebook to start the relationship. You don't meet a girl like that on a Thursday night at Typhoon (because she's probably on Facebook).

Why is he lucky? Honestly? You mean he's lucky because of all the guys who had shirtless pictures on Facebook, she liked his abs the most? If that's what they meant, it'd be fine.

Ditto for him being lucky because she's not the kind of woman who demands a $90,000 engagement ring.

But that's not what they mean. They mean, "Wow, you must thank God every night that some woman loves you."
Who decided that all women in a relationship are goddesses, and every man who happens to find a woman is some poor schlub who lucked into her?

I'm all for empowered women. They tend to be way more fun. But you can't have it both ways. You can't be a princess and a CEO.

Don't get me started on the ways that women are lucky to have men. Those jars in the kitchen? They aren't opening themselves. And of course, there are the really lucky women who convince men to pay for things such as a car, rent and every dinner or movie they attend.

I happen to know plenty of relationships where the woman is lucky to have the man. And I certainly don't have the following conversation with these girls when I hang out with those couples.

"You know, he has a six-pack, and you don't. I'm just saying, you're pretty lucky."

And you know, a six-pack is definitely worth $90,000.